To whoever may be reading this, I ask you this:

What is the representation of a red rose with a black ribbon? Does it represent love or does it represent revenge? I have had lots of relationships and enemies in my life. The only reason I am dwelling on it is because every morning at exactly the same time for the last couple of weeks I have been getting a red rose with a black ribbon on my doorstep and it is getting rather chilling…

Like any other day I had just run a bath for my two lovely young children. One of my children is called Anna and she is 3 and her little brother is called Mathew and he is 2 and a half. I just got them into the bath when suddenly the house phone rings. Who is on the other line?

I was quite hesitant to answer the phone but I did. Unfortunately I do not have caller id on it so I never know who is going to ring. When I answered it I saw my hands were shaking. I quietly said hello and you could even hear the fear in my voice. The person said to me “Who is watching your children?” then I suddenly chucked the phone on the holder and ran up to my children. Why did I answer that phone? 

When I opened the bathroom door the sight was horrific! I walked in and saw my two children, faced down drowned in the bath. I could see their chalky white faces faced down in the bath. How could I leave them on their own? Was the person on the phone with me watching me? There are only a couple of entrances to the top bathroom and there is only one window in our bathroom. The only view into the bathroom is from the neighbour’s house. Did they witness anything? 

The next morning came and I woke up in a police cell and I don’t even know how I got there or who phoned the police. I don’t actually remember what happened yesterday. It is like my mind blacked it out purposely. The truth is I have never been arrested before even though there was some accusations made that I was arrested quite a few years back, but that’s not correct.

The police started asking me questions about the death of my 2 young children. Suddenly it all came flooding back it played it in my head like a movie. I remembered about the phone call and I told the police about that phone call. When I told them the police said there is no record of that phone call made. Somehow he managed to erase the call to prevent getting caught. 

I got sent back to my cell when the police officer slammed the cold, bright door, a sudden breeze spread through the whole cell. Even though it lasted only a few moments it felt like I couldn’t breathe or talk. All I wanted to do at that time was crawl up in a little ball in the corner and think about this whole ordeal. 

My first night in that jail cell was horrible. It was so cold even with my blue blanket. I wanted to get out of there instantly! I slowly drifted off to sleep. How long was I going to be in here? When I was sleeping all I could hear in my head was the man’s voice on the other end of the phone warning me about my children. Why did I leave them alone?

The next morning I had to go back into the police interrogation room for more questioning. Why? But this time I was not being questioned about my children, I was being questioned about another murder. My face just dropped. They thought I murdered my own neighbour. Why?

I had a confused look on my face because I did not know what was going on. The police officer wheeled in a video player and the security tape from last night outside my cell. He put the video in and pressed play. While I was just starting to watch the video, I was thinking to myself this video has been messed with! Just to make me look like a murderer! What did I do?

The video made it look like the security guard watching me fell asleep and I escaped to go and murder my good friend and neighbour. I miss her and my children. I have lost everyone. Was she a witness? Now we will never know! Now it looks like I have committed a triple homicide! I just wanted to shout “I DIDN’T KILL ANYONE. WHY WOULD I KILL ANYONE?” 

The only problem with that is no-one would actually believe that I did not commit a triple homicide. It is madness! Why would I even kill my own little children? I love them so much. Also why would I kill my neighbour who was my best friend? How could I prove my innocence? I miss my children so much. As I was dwelling on the sight of my children, a tear shed from my eye. It was as cold as ice.
I got sent back to my cell and it seemed as if someone or something was watching me and was in my cell with me. When I say someone I mean the murderer. Was it exhaustion or madness? I didn’t feel safe. I was clung to the side of my bed in the corner. Did the police know something that would clear my name that they were not telling me?

As my second night in jail approached I felt like I was being watched by something. The feeling I had was not going away. Why? Suddenly I turned my head. When I looked back I saw my two children standing there looking like they are about to cry. How was this happening? The ghosts of my two lovely children quietly said “Mummy why did we get killed were cold?”

Suddenly floods of tears came streaming down my face, it was like a river. Also because I was crying so much I couldn’t breathe or speak. I couldn’t even speak to my poor ghost children. Was I hallucinating? Why was my mind torturing me so much?

My mind is beginning to grow weaker. I can’t be a murderer. Can I? My mind was clouding my judgement. It was horrible. I fell asleep. When I woke up I nearly screamed. I thought I was imagining it. I woke up to see a note. The note said “Miss me?” Next to the note was a red rose with a black ribbon! Who was doing this to me?

The night fell and I began to cry myself to sleep. When all of a sudden I heard a scrape of a boot on the scratched floor. My eyes shot open and I sat up so quickly. My whole bod began to shake! Who was in my room in the dark watching me so silently? It’s like he wanted me to know they are there!
A man came swiftly out of the shadows. How did he even get into my cell and what did I even do to him in the first place? I recognise the shadow of the man but who was he? I began to dwell on it. Then I had a sudden thought and I could see the man in my head. It was the security guard watching me all this time. Messing up the security tapes. Who really was the security guard? Does he know me? Suddenly I got hit round the back of the head. I fell straight to the floor and my whole face began to bleed.

Next thing I know I fell off my bed and I had a bruise that covered nearly the whole side of the right side of my face. It was all a horrible dream. But it felt so real though. I nearly stumbled out of my door but I had to run to my children’s room.

When I opened the door I couldn’t help but cry. My children were alive! My whole face just lit up. I made it all up and I said to my children “I am never taking my eyes off you I love you too much.” They just looked at me like I was a two headed person and then looked back to play with their toys.
I went downstairs to get a nice treat for the children, but I gave myself a fright when I opened the front door. I opened the door to find a red rose with a black ribbon neatly tied just like in my dream!
I slowly backed away and closed the door behind me. Then I realise I am sitting on the stairs. My face dropped. I was paralysed. Is it real? 

I am so scared I don’t know what to do. Any advice? I guess not...